Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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