we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
