google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
