I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
