STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Watching her eat just hurts me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
