but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
