he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
