dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize