He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
