I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
