i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found the puke drawer
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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