i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I believe in your delicious
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
