Kiss
Puke
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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