what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
