my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
