whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
