he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
