I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Who died my cat blue again?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
