UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
