her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
