yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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