Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
