Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
