How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
