i think my tv is drunk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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