im about as happy as oj after his trial
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Brb crying the tears of my youth
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
