drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
