Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
