He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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