I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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