no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
