i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize