what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
