yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
