Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
