I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
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It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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