I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize