Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
