Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
