The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
