VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i've created a new STD.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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