**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
