he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize