You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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