Its about making memories worth repressing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
