I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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