Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
