I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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