I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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