i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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