He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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