What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
