How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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