i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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