To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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