I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
