remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
