i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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