so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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