Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
