Umm I'm too high to move.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All the doctor said was why
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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