So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you have to choose: penises or morals?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
