Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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